Collection of Priceless Jokes for Sept '06

“Ole put the following ad in the local paper: FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes, excellent condition. $1.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last month, wife knows everything.”

Hear about the guy who got fired at the canning factory?
He got caught taking a pea.

A cowboy in Texas gets pulled over by a State Trooper for speeding. The trooper started to lecture the cowboy about his speeding, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the cowboy feel uncomfortable.
Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket. As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.
The cowboy says, "Y'all havin' some problem with circle flies?" The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well yeah, if that's what they're called. But I never heard of no circle flies."
"Well, sir," the cowboy replies, "circle flies hang around ranches. They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse." The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. A moment later he stops and says, "Are you callin' me a horse's ass?"
"No, sir," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for law enforcement to call y'all a horse's ass."
"That's a good thing," the trooper says and goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl says, "Hard to fool them flies though."

What do you call a row of bunnies walking backwards?
A receding hairline.

Recently, a previously unknown painting by Salvador Dali was discovered in an abandoned warehouse in New York City. The oddest thing about it was that rather than being the usual work of the surrealistic master, it was a conventional landscape of a vegetable garden. It was put up for auction and a syndicate of Japanese investors paid $4.5 million for it. Which just goes to show that some people will pay almost anything for a genuine cabbage patch Dali.

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Hugo

Columnist Hugo B. Jonsen tells all about the PokingFun Press UnLtd.
first venture into book publishing with
The State of Grace ...and other Calamities.

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From 2003

July Jokes

August Jokes

September Jokes

October Jokes

November Jokes

December '03 Jokes